There are still some things I want to just say, but I can't. Be it because there really is no circumstance or be it that there's no point... but I guess I need to get them off my chest before they stop my heart from beating, my lungs from working.
A small part of me thinks he's only using me because he can't do things himself, and I hate to be so depended on. I'm not channel five, so please stop thinking I'm dedicated, determined, dependable. I'm also not a pair of old people diapers... and I'm not here to fix you or anyone. I'm here to live for myself and if it happens to help some people along the way then that's just a bonus. That tired old wizard, can't he magic himself out of this one? And does he really have to guilt me like that? Does he really have to raise me up on some imaginary pedestal? I'm not worth as much as he thinks I am because I'm far too tarnished and I will eventually show my true colors and he'll leave me just like everyone else. Because I'm not meant to have real friends when I can have shallow, pointless ones.
So I sent him packing, despite how bad it made me feel to do it... but my sanity is worth more than his in my mind (since it is my mind to begin with).
I guess I've changed too much, too fast, or too much in a direction that the people I wanted to impress have decided I'm not impressive.
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