stop waiting for life to fall out of the sky.

Hedonist. Your life will never be truly happy so long as you only please yourself with trivialities. It's nice that you've set goals, but get some perspective and realize that there are those far more qualified for your dreams than you at this level.

My biggest issue has always been your impatience. Dreams are something you must work for, they won't just come true without effort.

step one: you say 'we need to talk.'

I don't think you changed, and you know why I think that. I think I just never really knew the real you. Your life changed in such rapid succession that you weren't able to hide who you really were anymore, and I had fallen for a mask of someone who never existed at all.

playing god.

Holier than thou all you want, you're the one who's a pathetic mess, and you know it. Deep down, under all the lies and all the half-truths you tell yourself so you can sleep, you know that you're alone in this world and if you had to really face that truth, you'd die.

For once I can say, with a smile, that I'd be just fine on my own.

Sucks to be you.

it don't break even.

Something trivial to one person can mean so much to another. The wounds you both bestowed upon my flesh still produce blood, but at least now it seems to be coagulating. Been trying to convince myself that I am not the sun, but it's hard not to assume every malicious thing that's publicly displayed isn't about me. The rose tinted glasses are gone, long since crushed beneath heavy footfalls and while I do miss the days when I could look through them and pretend, they are definitely long gone and I've seen those true colors shine in their most garish way. Perhaps the following conclusion is mutual, but I can assure you that my trust was yours and whether you believe that or not is up to you...

You fucking lied to me. How the fuck do you sleep at night?

just a little insight.

I lied.

I do blame you.

Because you stopped trying.

what is love? baby, don't hurt me.

Far too frightened to explore how deep these feelings run, I do hope you'll be patient with me. I've been broken far too many times and I know the cracks are just barely visible, but I want to love you, I really do. It's just that I've only just begun to put my heart back together... my mind is telling me that love is just a stove and that I keep placing my hand on the burner.

Please, prove my mind wrong.

I'm tired of trial and error. Can't I just be right this time?

these children learn from cigarette burns.

Don't think I didn't notice, because I did and that blow was below sea level in case you were wondering. I don't get it, because that manner of victory is never as sweet as one you gain the honest way.

protip:

Here's how it works, dear friends. You only get out of me what you put in (and that isn't a pervy joke, for the record). So if you ignore me? I ignore you. If you shower me with attention? I do the same back. If you are too scared to be yourself, I tend to not be as open. If you retreat to people who make it so you don't have to think? I stop bothering you with problems that need solving.

Don't sit there and write about how you've been replaced when you replaced me first.

the four noble truths.

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

I knew I wasn't crazy in thinking this... that it came from somewhere. Who knew it was Buddhism? Looks like I'm secretly Buddhist and didn't even realize.

To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in.

Although there are different degrees of suffering and there are also positive experiences in life that we perceive as the opposite of suffering, such as ease, comfort and happiness, life in its totality is imperfect and incomplete, because our world is subject to impermanence.

That's why the declaration of Independence states that pursuit of happiness- it isn't permanent.

The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof.

The reasons for suffering are desire, passion, ardour, pursuit of wealth and prestige, striving for fame and popularity, or in short: craving and clinging.

Explains a lot, really.

The third noble truth expresses the idea that suffering can be ended by attaining dispassion.

Nirvana is not comprehensible for those who have not attained it.

There is a path to the end of suffering - a gradual path of self-improvement, which is described more detailed in the Eightfold Path. It is the middle way between the two extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification (asceticism).

I'm still closer to hedonism than anything, but I suppose that knowing this makes it a little better.

i'm no hero.

Poised, I feel as though I am about to unleash the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. It's not a good feeling.

all signs point to yes.

Build. Construct your walls carefully. You leave a little peep hole. Observe. You see things happening. Fear. Fear always gets the best of you. The best of me. Why are you so afraid of happiness? Because it can be taken away? Happiness is fleeting, so grab it when you can and chase it when it flutters away on golden wings. That is suffering, and that is the meaning of life.