this is a subject there's no class for.

I may be a lot of things, but a liar isn't one of them. You nipped that in the bud with the therapist, remember? You think I lie to everyone... but I only lie to you. Because you're never satisfied. You're just like your own mother, you know. You care about appearances and what total strangers think.

But all I could do was close my eyes, and cross my arms and hope to die. 'Cause you don't fucking listen when I'm around. The least you could do is take it back, all the vicious remarks and verbal attacks. 'Cause I can't fucking stand it when you're Around.

just plastic with a heartbeat.

You and her, it's all so fake. It looks fake, it feels fake. It is fake. And I don't like that I get these vibrations from it all. It's unnerving. And fake.

hide and seek

I'm always invisible and I always use the same excuse. Thinking about it, it's not really him who I'm hiding from. It's all the people that think that it's okay to bother me... just because they see me. People who just like to say "hi!" and then wander off to the people they really care about. Low self esteem plagues me. People don't love me. They love Axel. And as hard as I try to be, I'm just not him nor will I ever be.

But I'll keep trying anyway.

why's everyone in such a damn rush?

Isn't it hilarious to anyone else how the ones who complain the most about "drama" always find a way to get involved in it? I have found that the easiest way to avoid drama is to look for it and the easiest way to be included in drama is to complain about it.

I never thought I'd be so disappointed. I never thought I'd be so disgusted. I never thought I'd be second-guessing everything you ever told me.

It's impossible to keep hearts from breaking, but to step on it as many times as possible is the lowest thing anyone can do. And you did it. I don't know who you are anymore, but you're not the person I thought I knew and now I know why I haven't felt easy around you.

dismissed traffic signs always lead to tragedy.

Why didn't I see it coming a mile away? Why don't I ever heed any warnings? Why do I insist on doing things my way when I know "my way" is a pain-filled one? You tell me, dear reader. Because I'll surely never know the workings of my own mind. I'm that sort of crazy, bat-shit insane, and contemplative. Get to know me, before throwing me away or before assuming past fucks know all. Four months told him nothing of me, otherwise he wouldn't have let me go. Herding beasts gather 'round and take his word for it, against the advice of the reading rainbow... and it's just one of those times when I desperately want to scream for these men to have the balls to have a mind of their own. Why do I care? I'm over them all. No more lackluster trials and errors, stopping for games is clearly where I'm getting into the infected batch.

So I will look elsewhere, in places that I have never looked for validation and amusement. And if I'm lucky, love will find me this time.

Hangman, it's not your fault.

you better open the door before i take a hammer to the walls around it.

Is it really so much to ask for people to just say what the mean and mean what they say?

i don't know what to do with myself or you.

I should call you and straighten things out, but I don't think you're ever alone and I'd hate it if people were around when I pour my heart out. I wish I could just corner you somehow, like the times we were in your car at night, and just tell you what I feel and not be so scared that you're going to think I'm taking things too seriously (which I probably am). I just want... need to know why I'm being ignored, and if I'm not, then do a fucking better job at being my friend, you twat.