“Grandpa died at about midnight,” she said. I’d been expecting it, albeit the reality was somewhat late. She thinks he was waiting for my dad to get there, so that he could die in peace. Who can really say?
It’s funny. When someone you’re not really close to dies, you can see how the world keeps moving without them. It’s so much easier because you’re detached. It’s odd. I feel like a real-life character stuck in something surreal and unsure. I really don’t feel anything. She’s crying on the phone, but she’s trying to hide it. Me? I just sound sleepy and disinterested. Maybe that’s why she’s suppressing her sobs.
I’m glad she finally stopped trying to guilt me. Well, for the time being. I know her, she’ll bring this back up whenever the need to do so arises (and by that, I mean the next time we have a no-holds-barred bitchfit).
Death is something that both scares and intrigues me. I think that’s because we don’t know what happens. Oh, your ministers and priests will say what they will, but they aren’t really sure. No one is. Deep down, I think everyone’s a bit of an agnostic. I mean, wouldn’t you hate to be wrong? I’m somewhat jealous of Gramps because now he knows what’s out there, if it’s a light at the end of a tunnel or nothing at all.
It’s one of those things that I’ll always wonder about, but never really want to get to. Not yet, at least. I’m too (insert adjective here) to die. Though sometimes, it seems like it’d be the easiest solution to all of my problems… but that’s beside the point.
They say death is only the beginning. The beginning of what? Why, the beginning of all unanswered questions.
Silly, just because you have a next life...
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1 comment:
icu crossposting ;*
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