this goes out to my heart's desire.

I wanted to write you some words. Perhaps some that meant something or told you all about my feelings for you. I’m still not one-hundred percent certain, but aren’t there always doubts? There’s no such thing as a happy ending or a fairy tale. All I can give you is my determination… but I don’t want that to be misconstrued. I’m not trying to force you into anything- I promise. It’s simply this. I’m convinced there’s something for me in there somewhere. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. I hope it’s more than that. I want to talk about this so desperately, but I’m scared of boring you with the same old, same old.

Sharing words and thoughts with people far wiser than I… I’ve learned things. Things like it’s nature being akin to lightning- it never strikes in the same place twice. Going into this, I think I may have rushed things because, well… because I was so eager. And for that, I guess I should apologize. I’m not technically sorry about what was done so much as when it was done. In other words, I regret only the timing.

I hope that in time you’ll come to realize that there’s more to love than the initial attraction and that the silver lining isn’t always synonymous with the silver screen. This is, more than likely, a learning experience for you being that I’ve gone through so much more heartache. In a way, you’d think I’d be the one with the stone heart in this.

In the end, it’s just not manly to feel, is it?