Tuesday, March 4, 2008

&some secrets were never meant to be told.

He called me, said he'd told you. And now the cat's out of the bag. What about mine? What about me? Why? Perhaps... and I feel like scum because I couldn't tell you myself. Because I'm too nice. He asked me not to tell you, and I honored that the same way I honor your requests not to tell him anything. Because I'm his friend, too... He didn't care if I told you anything else- anything but that- and I didn't tell you.

Granted, I didn't think it prudent. I can't imagine that it would have been something you necessarily needed to know, but I really wanted to tell you and he told me not to. I have had this guilt saddled on me for a while, now.

And it makes me feel like trash. Really, it does. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please accept this apology. Please. I really hate that I had to take advantage of your trust like that. Please believe me.

I'm so terrified right now.

No comments: