Post-orgasmic euphoria is the worst time to try to think on gloomy topics… but I try anyway. What does it all mean? Part of me is happy- he said he didn’t want to hit it unless he knew if he loved me… but the other part’s saying “Well, he did say that as long as I asked for a fuck, he’d have a hard dick.” Sometimes I wonder just how crazy he really is because I can never be sure with him. You never know when he’s joking or not… and at times it can get utterly frustrating.
I’m not sure which is worse- the possibility of being used, or the fact that as long as he’s fucking me I’m okay with the idea.
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